This will be a quick one because I’ve gotta leave for work soon and I can’t stand the thought of this being another draft that sits in my list of unfinished ideas. Recently, I’ve been having a lot of second thoughts and questioning my decisions. I’ve wondered if my choice to be Side-B and to stop trying to change my orientation is what God would want for me. Though I honestly don’t think it’s the case, I sometimes worry that every breath I take is painful to God because I’m living so far outside of His will. It’s frustrating that no matter how much I pray, read scripture, receive wise counsel, or think through these issues using God given logic, I’m never 100% sure I’m doing the right thing. This morning, though, I was reading 1 John and I came across this passage:
7 Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8 The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. 9 No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 10 This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.
As I read these words, I was again confronted with doubt: Am I sinful? Am I of the Devil? How I can I know for sure? Then that last line: “Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.”
I may screw up in a lot of ways, but I think, in general, I do a pretty good job of loving my brothers and sisters in Christ. In fact, it seems to me that, according to John, the ones who are rejecting their gay brothers and sisters are the ones who are not of God. Sure, I may be taking it out of context, I may be proof texting, but these words spoke to me this morning and gave me a confidence I’ve been sorely lacking and I thank God for leading me to them.