As a gay Christian, I’ve spent endless hours scouring the internet, reading articles and exegesis, blog posts and op-eds, making repeated trips to BibleHub and BibleGateway to reference the same verses over and over, not to mention all the time spent in my own head mulling over points and counter-points, warring within myself. All this just so I can try to accurately understand what the Bible says about gay people. When all is said and done, I’m currently of the opinion that the Bible doesn’t speak directly to the type of committed monogamous same-sex relationship I would want to have. In all honesty, there’s not a lot in there on the subject and what is there can easily be understood in a different context, but that’s not what I want to talk about in this post. I want to talk about why, considering the fact that I don’t think the Bible forbids these types of relationships, I still am not affirming of them. What I think it ultimately comes down to is the fact that it would feel like letting myself off the hook. I can’t get over the idea that if I were to change my view, it would be opening myself up to getting what I want and that feels like a cop out. If I’m going to be completely truthful, if I weren’t gay, I think I would be affirming of gay relationships in an effort to err on the side of love, but I have a conflict of interest in the matter that makes things a bit more complicated.
Something else I’ve considered is the fact that, if I were to change my views, any failure to find a mate would be on my own head. As it stands now, I can blame my singleness on my religious views combined with my sexuality, but if I shift my standing, I suddenly have to accept that being alone might suggest a problem with me as a person. It’s possible that I’m using my views on this subject as a protective shield against taking responsibility for being unhappily single. In all honesty, I’m not sure if these two reasons I’ve mentioned are the reasons I’m not affirming or even how much they play into the argument, but it does seem like part of it and I think it’s important to examine our motivations, especially for things that make a significant impact on our lives and our relationships.